Next month will be 4 years since I haven’t had a relaxer in my head: March 23, 2014 to be exact. I didn’t do a big chop until December 2, 2014. I cut off any strand of relaxed hair and left my natural curls to flourish. Honestly, I didn’t know how to feel in that moment of whether I liked it or not, but eventually I learned to love my TWA (teeny weeny afro).
Every now and again people would ask me questions like “What do you do to it?” or “How did it get that long?” or “What do you put in it?” or “What advice would you give to someone who is transitioning, or wants to transition, from relaxed hair to natural hair?” Well… I can think of a few things:
1. Be patient. I cannot emphasize this enough. I know that two different textures in your head looks weird, and it can be frustrating; but you have to be patient before you go bald from yanking your hair out! Figure out different hairstyles that’ll look flattering on you. FYI, Halo Braids were my go-to while transitioning and it still is! It’s super easy and quick to do. Additionally, you have to be patient if you want your hair to grow, or you want your hair to be at a comfortable length before you cut your relaxed ends off. (Yes, you will have to cut that relaxed hair out of your head eventually. That does not look cute.)
2. You will experiment with different hair care products until you find the perfect ones for your hair. It’s okay to look at Naturalistas and “Gurus” on YouTube and on Social Media for good advice and inspiration. I do the same thing since there are some that appears to have the same texture and porosity level as me. However, what works for someone’s hair may not work for yours. So do what’s best for your hair and figure out what your hair likes. FYI, I learned that deep conditioning your hair and keeping it moisturized and hydrated could help with the detangling process.
3. Get used to the fact that you will not comb your hair on a regular basis. Natural hair isn’t going to get use to a comb or a tangle teaser. How often you comb your hair is your prerogative, but keep this in mind: I had to get used to the idea of only detangling my hair once or twice a week. You should too.
4. Be like Nike and “Just Do It!” Cut those relaxed end OFF and quit hanging on to them! Trust me – you’ll look gorgeous 😉
5. Love the hair that you were given! We’re not going to have the same hair texture. So stop comparing your hair to other people and love what God gave you!
6. Ignore this statement: “Natural Hair ain’t (or is not) for everybody!” It truly grinds my gears when people say such buffoonery. Like… you mean to tell me that the hair that grows on a human’s head – which is in its natural state before people decide to relax it – is not for them?! Boy BYE and Girl GONE! It’s statements like this that can possibly hinder any person from loving their hair – the hair that God gave them. Furthermore, this statement can be misconstrued and contradicting. What it could mean is that taking care of your natural hair isn’t for everyone, but that can apply to anyone who has hair that grows on their head. Putting weave, a wig, or braids in it is a form of taking care of your hair. Taking care of it properly is a different story. Plus, who doesn’t want to take care of their hair? So for my natural sistas, my transitioning sistas, and even my sistas that are thinking about it… LOVE YOUR HAIR AND IGNORE THIS NEGATIVE COMMENT.
As I reflect on it now, I know for a fact that the big chop was the best thing that I could have ever done. I can’t really say that relaxers ruined my hair because there were times in my hair that I didn’t take care of it when it was relaxed. Plus, I know of a few people who still get relaxers and their hair looks healthy, However, I will say that the journey of natural hair has taught me to take better care of it. If has also taught me to love my physical features: my cheekbones, my lips, my eyes, etc. I already loved the skin that I was in prior to that moment, but it seemed as if self love has heightened a bit. Now… if only I could get these polka dots off of my face (a.k.a. those dark spots that seemed to have gotten comfy on my face).
I don’t always have it together, and sometimes I feel like my hair is constantly changing, but I LOVE MY HAIR.
If you would like to read more on what I put in my hair, then I’ve already made a blog post about it 🙂 Click HERE!
Take care!
~Live Laugh Love~