This post will be based on a topic that is talked so much about in memes but never talked about formally – coming into adulthood.
When I think of the transition from adolescent to adulthood, many words come to mind. Adulting can be fun when you get to decide whether or not you want to go out with your friends. You can even plan trips that you’ve dreamt of taking. Sometimes, you can buy that product or Starbucks fancy coffee without guilt. You can be lazy with laundry or buy your own groceries. Yea, adulting can be pretty fun when you get to make your own decisions.
Oh, and don’t get me started on the music. You know those songs you’re parents/guardians had you listening to growing up? You know what I’m talking about – grown folks’ music. Or maybe you remember listening to some songs in high school because everyone else was listening to it. Well as an adult you get to discover what those songs meant. Do you remember those songs you listened to as a kid, and now one or more of the following statements came to mind:
- “Why did I my ____ had me listening to this?”
- “Oh is this what they’re talking about?”
- “Yea, this was a _____ song!”
For example, “Heard it all Before” by Sunshine Anderson. I can recite this entire song and it wasn’t until my 20s that I realize what this song was about. Now I sing it in my car with a ratchet tone *lol* Or Xscape’s “My Little Secret”? And what about Ludacris’ “What’s Your Fantasy”? (Don’t judge me. I do remember being a kid thinking that this song is gross. I mean… as a kid, I’m thinking Who would want to lick anybody? Yuck!) I could mention more, but this blog will be looooong.
On the other hand adulting can take a turn for the worst… or maybe just a reality check. If you’re between the ages of 18-25, it doesn’t get real until you have to file for your own health, life, and dental insurance. You’ll have to make your own appointments for the doctor, dental, eye, car, etc. (Yes, you also have to take care of your car once you buy it. Just putting gas in it won’t do. There’s so much more.) You’ll have to make car payments & insurance payments, cell phone payments, rent, utility, paying for college if you’re going, and maybe even college loans; and it can get discouraging when you have more bills than money. You might even end up living from one direct deposit to the next direct deposit (since pay check to pay check is starting to be a thing in the past) in hopes you have enough money to last you until you get paid again.
Adulting isn’t always easy and can put you in a mental space of emptiness: multiple failed attempts of telling yourself that better days are coming, as well as convincing yourself that it won’t always be like this. I’ve seen some people take the transition very well, while others I’ve seen depressed beyond measure. As for me… I’d say that I’m somewhere in between. I have wondered for a while why some people aren’t adjusting to adulthood as smoothly as others… and I was able to come up with one reason. The pay rate of a job or career could be it, but that’s not my reason. The situations that people go through could be it, but that’s not my reason either.
My reason is because of their mindset while going through adulthood.
Being an adult can be difficult, but you will continue to be in a mental sunken place if you don’t have the proper mindset on life. Be positive and optimistic, while stress-free at the same time. Is this possible? Yes, absolutely!
It’s okay to scream.
It’s okay to cry… for only a moment.
It’s okay not to be okay.
I’m not perfect and even I battle anxiety and depression, but I always remember that life will get better and your situation will change. I always tell myself that it won’t always be like this. Don’t let what’s going on in the world make you want to throw in the towel! Get up and keep going. It all begins with patience and a positive mindset. Then possible goals have to follow behind. In order to change your situation, you must also have goals to reach. Reframe from being upset with things beyond your control. At the same time don’t be upset with your situation without any regards of making a plan to be/do better.
Think of it this way: you’re going to make mistakes and you’re going to have failures… but don’t dwell in them! Don’t worry; you’ll be okay 🙂