It’s SEPTEMBER!!! Who’s happy? This girl! Now don’t get it twisted: it’s still the summer time. The Autumnal Equinox hasn’t commenced yet and we still have 21 days left! Nevertheless, I’m so excited to see that Fall is beginning to make its way over.
This week’s blog will be about depression, a topic that has been heavy on my mind lately. From reading a short novel called “For the Love of Peter Jones” by Adaeze Okoli (found on Amazon here) and watching Logic’s performance on the VMAs this past Sunday, I felt inspired to dedicate this week’s Music Monday and blog post about depression.
I like to describe depression as a drug. It’s hard to come out of it when someone is comfortable in that state of mind. For some people it may be easy to say “get up and get out of your situation” but it’s easier said than done for others.
I also think depression can be a demon. It preys into your life and impulsively consumes may kind of happiness in your life, while joy runs and hide from it. You never see it coming, and you don’t have time to prepare.
Depression can be dark. You feel alone and unhappy, even when you’re around people. Sometimes you know why you’re upset, while other times you don’t. So your preference is the dark, you cry yourself to sleep, and you end up thinking dark… in some cases very dark.
Why am I talking about depression? Good question. My reason is that it’s suicide awareness month and it’s not talked about enough. No matter the race, gender, or age it always hurts me to hear about anyone committing suicide or feel very depressed, feeling like they’ve tried everything and nothing will work. I’ll say that some of us grew up with the mentality of always moving forward, always being told to hold our heads up high and keep moving (or something like that). We’re always told to be encouraged and were given affirmations. Now these aren’t bad things to say at all, rather I think they’re correct statements. However, when it comes to dealing with depression, that’s not how some people feel at the moment.
I also think some people grew up not saying anything about what’s going on in their lives. As a result, they go through mental battles on a regular basis. Many people have died because they fell into a sunken place, the deep darkness of depression, both celebrities and non celebs alike.
Additionally, when someone who’s dealing with depression tries to say that they are not okay, people are so quick to get on what I call “positive defense.” For example, they may say things like, “I am not okay” when asked how they are and we are quick to respond with “Oh, it’ll get better” or “Well have you tried ____?” Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with those responses. HOWEVER, sometimes it helps for people to vent, to find someone to talk to about their problem and how they feel. I think people who are depressed (or are dealing with it) wants to vent, but no one understands their cry out for help. As a result, they end up posting things on Social Media that alarms many people… because people didn’t get the subtle hints and they need to go through such a measure for attention.
Hmm… I think I know what you’re thinking.
“Depression is not real.”
“Depression can’t be that bad.”
“Get out of your situation and LIVE!”
“Depression doesn’t have to be that bad.”
“Post Graduation Depression isn’t a real thing. Y’all made that up!”
Oh okay, well, tell that to those whom graduated high school and they’re not happy within their first year of college because they didn’t feel prepared; rather they feel like they were thrown in with the sharks. Tell that to the ones who were once very successful, very thankful for it, and now they’re living a rough life. Tell that to the ones whom graduated from college and they’re not in (or no longer in) the field they got a degree for due to circumstances and not enough support from their superiors. Tell that to the ones who lost their job and now it’s hard to find another. Tell that to the ones whom are knee-deep in debt and life is weighing heavily on them, one thing leading to another. Tell that to the ones whom try to remain hopeful but everything around them shows otherwise. Tell that to the ones who are professionals at hiding how they feel to prevent people from asking way too many questions. Take heed of what you say because it’s easy to say those quotes above if you’ve never experienced it, and each person goes through it differently.
What do I think people should do about those who are going through such a thing? I may know a few things. For example, when they give hints of wanting to talk, allow them to vent. Let them air everything out if they want. Allow them to cry and allow them to feel broken for a moment. I think it helps with identifying the issue. Once they have said what they wanted to say, give them some encouraging words and then try to help. Don’t just jump right in the situation with saying things like, “You’re a strong ____.” or “You are a child of God.” Let them vent first. I think it takes a lot for someone to say something when they’re depressed. So when they come to you it’s says a lot about you; one of which is that they can trust you. Another thing you can do is check on them, don’t let them go. Keep checking. It does help to know that someone’s in their corner that cares, even when they seemingly don’t want it.
For those who are dealing with depression, you are not alone and there are many who are going through it. I’ve had my fair share of depression in college (sometimes) and this year… especially this year. Sometimes I feel like a failure, while other times I’m fine. Sometimes I wanted to stay in the house, while other times I wanted to go walking. What helps me a lot are many things: talking it out with God, venting, close friends and family, keeping busy, helping others, watching very funny videos/shows, blogging/writing, crocheting, and music… especially music. I’m no Perfect Patty and I still go through, losing my way sometimes, but I always bring myself back. So my advice to you is FIND YOUR JOY AND HAPPINESS AGAIN. No one is in this situation but you. Get in control of your happiness and find your joy again, and know that you are in my prayers 🙂
Please ma’am, please sir… remember that we are not Superman or Wonder Woman in real life! We’re going to have our moments with no expiration date determined. Love one another, keep each other lifted and in good spirits. Keep encouraging one another to keep going even though it appears that they don’t want to hear it. You’ll never know: you could help transform (or save) someone’s life.
~Live Laugh Love~